Key Points

In Direct Response correspondence, we hone our brand voice to specific member profiles (buyer, first time consigner, repeat consigner and so on) and specific contexts, including buying, selling and special promotions.

• Avoid clunky, awkward or overly slangy language.

• Be concise, and direct.

• Voice is immediate, engaging and conversational. Or, just plain immediate and direct where appropriate.

• Speak like a luxury brand. 

Successful Voice in Practice

Email Subject Lines
Subject lines should be arresting, what will make someone click in? Keep in mind what is waiting inside the email and tee it up in a way that makes opening irresistible.

Immediate and Engaging
Yes: You Have To See These Engagement Rings
No: The Hottest Jewelry and Watches to Consign 

Conversational and Authoritative
Yes: Pssst. Hermès with Tags.
No: Sarah, PSA: LV Is On Sale
Why: PSA butting up to LV is confusing

Cheeky but Not Sophomoric
Yes: All Gucci Everything
No: Must-have Markdowns to Cop Now
Why: Avoid slangy words like “gonna,” “cop”

Clear and Easy to Understand
Yes: New Markdowns on Your Obsessions
Why: Sometimes it pays not to try to be clever. 
No: 12 Must-Haves Worth Considering 
Why: If they are Must-Haves, you shouldn’t have to consider them.

Make Statements
Yes: The LV Of Your Dreams
No: You Want These Gucci Bags
Why: Being too forceful or blunt can be off putting

Ask Questions
Yes: Parlez-Vous Hermès?
No: Ready to Consign?
Why: Bit of a cliffhanger. Questions work but only if you give someone a reason to be intrigued, not a full-blown mystery

Email Subject Line Performance
Here’s a look at subject lines with strong and weak open rates:

Top Performers

Instant Guccification
Be That Hermès Kelly Girl
So. Obsessed.
So Many LV Bags, So Little Time
The Prada You Never Thought You’d Find Again

Notable Performers With Room for Improvement

Dior & Manolos Are On Sale
Comment: Dior = Brand; Manolos (with an s) = items >> Make parallel: Dior and Manolo Blahnik On Sale

City Girls Love These Hot Weather Picks
Comment: clunky; picks is a sort of yucky, non-specific word. 

Balenciaga’s Got The New Go-To Jacket
Comment: “got” is a weed word; avoid whenever possible. Say >> The Go-To Jacket from Balenciaga

Invite Only: We Curated This Just For You
Comment: Why Invite Only? Mixed metaphor and doesn’t make sense. 

New-With-Tags Saint Laurent, Starring You
Comment: delete “starring you” which does not really track and should not in theory affect the performance of this subject line

This Luxurious Jewelry Comes Fashion Editor-Approved
Comment: streamline >> These Jewels are Fashion Editor Approved

Do As French Girls Do: Wear Hermès
Comment: Clunky. Suggestion: French Girls Wear Hermès. So Can You. 

Poor Performers

Spring-Ready Hermès to Wear All Year Long
Comment: Too complicated. Brand is buried.

Now’s Your Chance to Shop
Comment: Too general and not compelling on any front. Shop for what? No sense of immediacy or fun. 

On Sale Now: Top LV Picks
Comment: Sale is ambiguous. Does it mean marked down or just available? Picks is an uninspiring word. Something more streamlined eg: Our Best LV Now On Sale might perform better. 

Style Opinion: You Need this Fendi Bag
You need this Fendi Bag is already voicing an opinion. Style Opinion weakens rather than strengthens the proposition. >>>Suggestion: Trust Us. You Need this Fendi Bag.